Trips & Tales

AFMC Wild Boar Turkey Tour 2005

"Turkey is a man running west on a train heading east."

by Philip Richter • October 11, 2005

Overlooking the Bospherus

Attendees: Andy “Night Light” Forrester, Philip “DSB” Richter, Steve “Buttercup” Larsen, Dan “Ram-a-Dan” Moore, Mehmet “Gorilla Suit” Kocer.

Were it not for the unrelenting banker fortitude of Andy Forrester, the 2005 AFMC Turkey Tour would never have happened. But alas, despite some pre-departure attempted sabotage, the trip went on with a small courageous group. We went to Turkey. The chickens went to Vermont. Despite all the warnings, there was no Midnight Express.

The probability for total catastrophe was running high long before we even put up the kickstands. Steve’s flight departed Phoenix for Chicago, then to New York, then Paris and finally Istanbul. There may have been a short layover in Auckland, but Steve’s itinerary details are still anything but clear. Dan received the highly coveted “backward-ass route” award. He flew from Cleveland to New York, and then to Vienna, and then to Ankara, and then finally to Istanbul. In the time it took him to reach Istanbul, he had celebrated 2 birthdays. Philip and Andy kept it simple and just took a direct flight from New York.

The journals below are an edited compilation of my roadside writings. The pages that follow are abbreviated to protect the innocent…..and the guilty.

9.26.05: Istanbul: N41 07.207 E29 02.814 Yesterday we landed in Istanbul. For me it was an easy 10 hour direct flight from JFK. For the others it was an epic journey of biblical proportions. We are a world away from New York City. Istanbul is literally the new Rome. Call it Istanbul, Constantinople, or Byzantium, it is all the same. The city is booming and western and totally cosmopolitan and LOTS of fun. Turkey is an economy on the rise. Istanbul is the gateway between Asia and Europe; it has an ancient history so rich and complex. Today we stood on the shores of the Black Sea, looking off to Asia while standing on Europe. This is the only city that its location spans two continents. Huge tankers sail by, with a few Suez class tankers in between heading upsteam to Russia, or who knows where. Today we walked through Mosques that were built in 489 AD. Nothing has changed since then, despite multiple huge 7.0 plus Richter scale earthquakes that have hit Istanbul over the last 1500 years. In this Muslim country you wouldn't know that just 1200 miles away there is total turmoil in Iraq. Turks are casual Muslims. They drink a lot. The women don't wear veils. They love Americans, but they hate Bush. Last night we walked the new part of the city, where all the bars are located. They party like Rock Stars and are so friendly. It feels totally safe here—as safe as Woodstock Vermont.

Today we toured Hagia Sophia, one of the most significant buildings in the architectural history of the world. It was the highest and greatest dome in history for over 1000 years, an engineering feat that no culture could replicate or reverse engineer. The dome is significant because the underlying structure is a square, not a circle like the Pantheon in Italy. It was built in only 5 years with 10,000 slave laborers, and now over 1500 years later Princeton University's best professors have been trying to do renovations and understand its structure to perform upgrades now for 7 years, with huge scaffolding inside the building, not making much progress it seems. How ironic those repairs take 7 years in 2005 while building this immense tour de force in architecture only took 5 years, in 489 AD. We also saw the Blue Mosque, a testament to Ottoman architecture; it was built in 1616 and is still totally functional and used daily. We saw underground cisterns built in 532, and the Topkapi Palace where the Ottoman Empire ruled for 600 years. Tomorrow we load up our bikes and head deep into Turkey for 3000 kilometers of touring.

9.27.05: Cappadocia: N38 38.135 E34 54.244 If you are looking for unparalleled history, striking landscapes, robust culture, friendly people and great food come to Turkey. If you like to sleep late, go to Southampton or Palm Beach. More on this revolutionary hypothesis later….

If George Bush and Company wants to learn how to create a democracy in the Middle East they should come visit Turkey. Here they have a secular democracy in a 99% Muslim nation. Sure there are problems, but I am continually amazed at how orderly, western, and developed the country is.....it is working here, just a few miles from Iraq.

To date we have traveled roughly 1300 kilometers. That is a lot of distance here, in this country, given the roads we have traveled. Our new BMW motorcycles are really extraordinary. As Mel Brooks says, "It's good to be the King." The bikes we are riding are brand new BMW R1200 GS's. This is the latest kraut-supercycle to come out of Berlin Germany. It is the Hummer of motorcycles, yet doesn't have the negative stigma associated with those stupid American vehicles. It gets up to 40 MPG with legendary reliability. While driving out of Istanbul (with kamikaze Turks coming at you from any and all random directions on no moment's notice-I'm talking difficult riding conditions) we had to be careful not to run over and squash the occasional Lada, Fiat, and small Volkswagen. The new 1200 is the 4th generation GS. The prior generation R1150 GS was such a good bike that improving it seemed impossible. But this new bike, this German schatzee, she is so different. Like the ads for the new Range Rover proclaim, "However unwarranted, improvements were made." For such a gargantuan, wide, and heavy machine, this bike is so nimble, so quick, and so able that it instantly makes mediocre inexperienced riders like Steve perform like Evil Kneivel. You can lift the front tire in 4th gear. Riding it is like a sport. The GS is a motorcycle that combines Viagra, steroids, and a Big Bertha golf club. The brakes are servo assisted anti-lock, which means that this beast can stop and eject you faster than a misbehaving horse.

We also have to mention how incredible the BMW dealer was where we picked up the bikes. There is nothing like it in America. It sells BMW cars, bikes, and Land Rovers. They have special motorcycle training grounds, huge service areas, and a showroom the size of lower Manhattan. It was larger than its neighbor, the brand new United States Consulate. The architecture is something only Ayn Rand's Howard Roarke could have conceived. It was almost surreal. If this is a symbol of the future of Turkey, it looks pretty bright.

We are now way east of Istanbul in the region of Cappadocia, a volcanic area formed by three extinct volcanoes. Turkey is a lovely country, with endless beauty and a very diverse climate and landscape. Already we have ridden through mountains and desert, experiencing everything from the Adirondack Mountains to lush Colorado forests to the barren lands we all imagine the Middle East to look like. The only downside seems to be is that Turkey is surrounded by some rather hostile neighbors. It is like a calm oasis in a sea of tense friction. While we are not close, we are really not too far away from Iran, Iraq, Syria, Georgia, and Armenia (all of which border Turkey). From where we are right now the average American could pack up the Ford Explorer with the kids and drive to Iraq in a day or two.

The landscape here in Cappadocia is striking, looking more dramatic than our Badlands in South Dakota—it even gives our Grand Canyon a run for the money. During the 8th century people carved caves into the soft volcanic stone, leaving behind mazes of tunnels, chapels, houses, and frescos of Christ. The history here goes back 3000 years, but archeologists are fed up with trying to unravel the history. So many different cultures have lived here, continuously having destroyed or bastardized the prior establishment that unraveling it is all futile. Here in Turkey, you have to adjust your mindset to what is old and new. New is considered 300 years old, and things don't start being called old unless you are talking at least 1000 years.

This morning Steve and I woke up at 5am and took the most spectacular two hour balloon ride, touring the volcanic landscape via what the locals call "contour ballooning." The degree of control that Captain Lars had over the enormous high performance balloon was amazing. He had this Zen like feel for adding heat, descending, and twisting the basket. He has so much control that we literally picked apples off a tree as we glided by it. We climbed up to about 1000 feet, which is freaking high when you are peering out of a wicker basket with nothing keeping you aloft but hot air and silence. Lars is famous for his ability to navigate and control balloons in ways that most others cannot. Worldwide they do not allow him to compete in balloon competitions. He was a key engineer involved with Steven Fosset's recent circumnavigation of the globe in a balloon. He always loved ballooning and after leaving his native Sweden has created a business out of his passion for balloons. I love it when people find some way to meld their passion into a profitable business. This may be the best example I've ever seen. By the looks of it, he is doing really well. He has 12 very high performance balloons (I got an education in the sophistication, variety, and complexity of the various balloon types, designs, and materials), many people working for him, multiple big Mercedes Gelandewagens to pull the trailers that carry them, and an endless supply of eager balloon riders. He was so professional and precise in everything he did. He was such a good navigator that he landed the huge balloon directly on the trailer. As we approached the desolate landing site, an elderly man walking his fully loaded donkey just looked at us if we were from outer space. We had a very civilized champagne brunch after our landing. What a way to start the day. We also met the most lovely couple from Melbourne Australia, which is especially convenient if a future AFMC trip is held in the land down under.

We have learned a lot about Islam. We are in a country that is 99% Muslim. Most women do wear head scarves. We have wondered why it is only boys and men who are interested in our arrival to small towns. Not one single woman has even given us a second glance. We are trying to blame this fact on Islam, but the truth is we are one ugly bunch of guys. Islam literally translates into the word "submission." Mohammed was just a regular guy who with some divine intervention was able to author the Koran. While grossly oversimplified, the five key principles of Islam are as follows:
1. Confess total faith in Allah and the Koran
2. Pray 5 times a day
3. Make a pilgrimage to Mecca
4. Believers must fast during Ramadan
5. You must give away 1/40th of your annual salary to a charity of your choice
Most of Turkey practices casual Islam, although some towns are more devout. Everyone here seems to drink. Alcohol is forbidden by the Koran, yet people in Turkey seem to ignore that rule. We sure have! There are 85,000 mosques in Turkey. In every town so far, 5 times a day, the mosques broadcast services live via huge speakers attached to the minuets, (large towers or steeples attached to the Mosques). Mosques are less of a house of god and more of a central meeting place. This morning, while waiting for the bus to take us ballooning at 5:30 am Steve and I started to hear what sounded like a Stihl chainsaw. Slowly it got louder and louder. Because of the volcanic terrain, there was a triple echo reverberating. Then you could slowly hear the prayers. Don't come to Turkey if you like to sleep in. Every morning at 5:30 in every single village they fire up the speakers on the minuets and do a live service. Dogs start howling all around town, professing their canine love of Allah.

Yesterday we rode about 600 kilometers. The terrain was rough and full of sand, silt and pebbles— a motorcyclists worst and most dreaded enemy. For miles and miles we drove where there were vague outlines of roads, or trails that could be roads with a big road crew employed for a few years of hard manual labor. We rode through ancient villages that have no names. The onboard GPS showed nothing. This is how to see Turkey. It was so rural. The arid terrain was awesome. The GS's conquered it with ease. We covered some serious ground.

Every small town we ride through the villager's wave and cheer us on and give us the Fonzi thumps up. They are fascinated by our motorcycles; it is almost like they have never seen such machines before. We must look menacing to them, 6 huge bikes with tall guys in space suits and helmets. Everyone has been so friendly to us. We cannot emphasize this fact enough. It is shocking. It has taken us awhile to put our guard down. Andy has reached for his gun on several occasions. We have had to surrender and just say hello, be friendly, and put our trust in strangers who speak no English. In every town Kaz has made us leave our helmets, jackets, et al on the bikes when parked. Nobody would ever steal anything, especially in the small villages. There is just this unwritten honor code. What is not yours is not yours. They are not mired in a materialistic society.

Yesterday's experience was perhaps one of the most memorable. We rolled into a small mud hut village where about 400 people were having an outdoor market street sale. As timing and luck would have it, as we arrived young students had just finished their day at school and were roaming the markets. The streets were full of people. As we rolled into the crowds, they surrounded our bikes 8 people deep. It was a sea of people, with nowhere to go. This was a very very rural village, but the people were well dressed, many wearing coats and ties. Alas these lovely people were so polite, friendly, and wonderful. Again, we cannot emphasize this enough. We ended up staying and hanging out for hours with foreign strangers that spoke no English. Steve even gave some rides. We tried to convince an 80 plus year old man to hop on the GS, he respectfully declined but laughed and laughed. It was this happy moment in time that gave me hopes that all of us in this world, no matter our culture, status, or background, can indeed get along. We got photographs with elders and children alike, standing beside us or sitting on our bikes. Worthy of note, the children were so respectful of not touching the bikes without asking first and nobody ever appeared jealous, they were just genuinely interested and entertained and wanted to have some fun. These people were so poor, yet wealthier than many cash rich Americans. They were so happy, so content, and living totally in balance. It was a life changing experience that we all will never forget. The children here are so beautiful.

Hotel owners have also been more than gracious. The other night in Safranbolu Steve drove his GS into (and I mean into) a 16th century hotel, down a staircase and into the hotel lobby and parked it in the atrium dining room. It was only later, after a few cocktails that we began to contemplate how we would get the bike out of the hotel. The hotel owner loved us, and the other guests all sat on the bike during and after dinner. It was a grand entrance, of the kind that only Frank Sinatra could have orchestrated or gotten away with. The hotel was unbelievable, situated on the Silk Road and built in the 16th century. The room doors were 4 feet tall. 300 years ago it was a layover for camel riders. Not much in the hotel has changed since then except that our camels were metal boxer twins.

We have really done the local scene; due mostly to our fabulous guide Kaz. Kaz is a real adventure guide who hails from Istanbul. He has arranged and guided trips for the American Flyers in years past, and has a great sense of things (like rain) that our group just cannot tolerate. Today we were riding along a rural road and the sky looked ominous ahead. We all pulled over—not to put on raingear, but to find another route that would keep us dry. Perhaps we should talk to Seattle Bob about changing the AFMC website to www.americanpussies.org.

Getting into the local life here in Turkey, yesterday we all went to a Turkish bath. Mustafa, or at least that is what we called the 250 pound sumo wrestler look alike, basically picked me up by the torso with one hand, scrubbed my skin off with a Turkish brillo pad, cracked my back in two pieces, snapped my left leg off, twisted my head off and then left me to die in a beautiful 300 year old Turkish bath. While none of us felt good during the brutal punishment, we felt better than ever about an hour later. Forget all the New York chiropractor bullshit, just call Mustafa. The half hour ordeal cost us a whopping $10 each.

Tomorrow we head off for Konya and then we will see Aspendos, the huge theater that was designed by Zeno in honor of Marcus Aurelius in 170 AD. It is still as Zeno left it, mostly intact and still used. We have a lot of miles (of kilometers) ahead of us...
We will try our best to keep the rubber side down.

10.1.05: Gocek: N36 45.181 E28 56.629. To date, we have been mostly driving through lush mountains and barren desert plains. The scenery is so diverse and is constantly changing. Yesterday, after leaving the mountain village of Kemer we finally got panoramic views of the Med. At the Ranch last night, Mehmet and I made a valiant effort with two of the young ladies that were there taking a week of riding lessons. The night ended on our balcony with Jaegermesiter, Efes Beer, the two ladies and one of their mothers. We struck out again.

For miles and miles we rode twisting roads along the Med, much like the Pacific Coast highway in California (sans guard rails). Any mistake on these roads would be your last. We finally arrived in Gocek. This seaside town did not exist in 1985. It is now booming. It has become a hot spot for the English and Germans. There are about 500 sailboats here, some of which were over 50 feet long and of the Hinckley variety. Real estate is starting to boom, you can see it. $100,000 buys a four bedroom house with an awesome view. The climate is perfect. Palm trees. It is easy to see that in 10 years this town will have been a fabulous real estate investment. Today one could say in hindsight, "I should have bought real estate in Gocek in 2005." Andy says Gocek is just like southern Spain was when he was there in the early 1960's. In Turkey the mortgage market is just developing, so most people pay cash for their houses. The real estate taxes are very very low. So once the mortgage market matures, property values in places like this could soar much further, especially in resort towns where the views combine the Mediterranean Sea and dramatic mountains. Yesterday we also toured the Huglu gun factory, an outfit that makes beautiful handmade shotguns in the middle of rural Turkey.

We have to take a moment to describe Mehmet. Mehmet is a friend of Dan's who lives in Istanbul and is riding with us for the week. Dan actually grew up in Istanbul, spending two years of his childhood hunting boar in the wetlands of Turkey. Mehmet is one hairy Turk. Up until a few months ago Mehmet had never ridden a motorcycle, let alone a 1200 GS. When we decided to do the trip a few months back, Dan told him to take lessons and Mehmet picked it up faster than anyone I know. He rides like a pro, yet has no experience. He is a very good athlete and his hand eye coordination has translated to his ability to ride a motorcycle. The only thing holding Mehmet back is the heavy gorilla suit that he has been wearing. At night he has to walk it like a dog. We’ve all wondered how he washes it—the suit must be very high maintenance. Mehmet also has a keen eye for business. He has proved to be a great source of information relating to the economy here and I may leverage his insider status if I were to ever consider an investment in Turkey. In late 2001, Turkey experienced a serious financial crisis. Apparently the Turkish economy has historically had regular crisis cycles. The cause of this most recent crisis was lax rules within banking system. Apparently, many large industrial companies owned several unrelated businesses. Each of these businesses needed access to cheap capital. What did these industrial conglomerates do? They bought banks and made cheap high risk loans to themselves. Following the 2001 crisis, the country has implemented serious banking reforms which have helped create economic stability. The Turkish stock market is up 40% this year.

The scenery here is not to be believed. We have seen 3rd century amphitheatres and tomorrow we head to Ephesus. The roads here make for challenging and difficult riding. The AFMC riders who went to Vermont would not be able to handle it. Meow meow. Our riding skills have improved 5 fold as a result of the relentless roads. It is difficult because most of the time the pavement is good to ok, but every so often there is unexpected gravel, oil, sand or the concrete changes composition. You can be riding along perfect macadam and head into a tight turn at high speed only to find that it is all gravel. With the exception of Mehmet (who does not know any better), we no longer trust the turns, which makes for difficult riding. We have logged a lot of "klicks" or kilometers, and each passing mile requires utmost concentration and focus. This is not easy relaxed riding. It is not like riding in Vermont, lumbering along the river. We have also done a lot of off road riding which is challenging but fun on the BMW GS.

We have all determined that we like parts of the new GS but would never buy one. The quality standards of German products are going south. The bike has serious quality issues. The side bags leak. There is lots of loose low grade plastic. The plastic windshield fasteners loosen up and need to be periodically tightened. The plastic side panels flap and shudder at high speed or in crosswinds. On a tour last month Kaz said the top cases flew off all the new bikes. It is very very clear that the BMW 1200 GS is well engineered, the motor is exceptional, the suspension unbeatable. However, it is just as clear that the build quality is not even close to the same standard as older BMWs like San Diego Bob’s 1982 R80 G/S. Besides the massive fiscal and unemployment problems facing Germany, they had better address these quality issues or lose their reputation for durability and quality.

10.2.05: Bodrum: N37 02.504 E27 26.475 We had a long long day, but the scenery just keeps getting better and better. Monday is a big day for Turkey, the EU is meeting in Luxembourg regarding their status in joining the EU. This is going to be a long complex process. The core of the problem seems to be that Turkey is 99% Muslim. There are a lot of Europeans that don't want Turkey in the EU. From what we can see the Austrians feel threatened by this growing country on the go. The issues are very complex. There is so much going on here economically, and the population is willing to work really hard. We'll see how it all falls out, Kamal does not think the EU will accept Turkey. He also doesn't think the EU will last for the long-run. The EU is putting all kinds of conditions on Turkey that were not put upon much less developed Romania.

Somehow I don't think this group is getting their security deposits back. Most of us have dropped the bikes in parking lots with uneven ground. Even Steve has dropped his bike. With a lot of demanding off road riding (and some deep rivers) we have really beaten them up but good. Dan and Mehmet split off from the group today and came back dragging multiple saplings from the underside of their bikes. According to Dan, Mehmet dropped his GS “at least ten times” today.

10.3.05: Ephesus: N37 56.663 E27 20.476 We have driven over 2700 kilometers. Again, Mehmet and I got nowhere with the ladies last night. We rolled out of Bodrum this morning and decided to see the swank seaside village and high end vacation resort. The minute we got into town our group got separated and we all got lost from each other. It was a clusterfuck of giantl proportions. Dan and Mehmet decided to take off and do their own thing, leaving Steve to fend for himself. Steve was gone and nowhere to be found. This was a town about 1/10th the size of Istanbul, yet we managed to get it all screwed up. Andy, Kamal and I left Bodrum without Steve and eventually found him near the Temple of Apollo in Didyma, randomly riding in circles like a lost Englishman in New York.

Today we saw ruins that adjusted our perspective on world history and at the same time made me feel insignificant in the recorded history of human achievement and civilization. We have Intel, they had raw brains. In the morning after leaving Bodrum we stopped at Euromos, a "small" temple that was built in the 3rd century but never completed. It appears that most of these temples were multi century projects that were in fact never completed. We then stopped at the Temple of Apollo in Didyma. There was so much to see, and so much to learn, and Kamal explained many of the structures features. There was so much planning and design that went into building the Temple of Apollo. They thought the design, construction, and assembly through to the most detailed degree. For example, they would pre-carve the corner pieces and hard to reach carvings before the marble was actually positioned in the Temple to accelerate and ease completion of the project. Much of the work is left undone.

By far the highlight of the day was seeing Ephesus. This is an ancient city that dates back to 300 B.C. and earlier. It used to be situated near the water and was a huge trading port. At its height, the population reached 250,000 and exceeded Rome for a short time. Ephesus was the capital of the Roman province of Asia Minor and was adorned with many temples, marble streets, and a grand theater that can seat 24,000 people. We toured the massive ruins and found theaters, the Library of Celsus, public toilets, hospitals, stores, brothels, Roman baths, and the Street of Kuretes. We had a hard time getting Andy and Steve to leave the brothel. Ephesus is by far the most important and impressive ancient Greco-Roman site in Turkey and perhaps the world. Don't go to your grave without visiting Ephesus. The German archeologists have been working here for the last 100 years and continue to try to decode and unravel the complex history. In 1993, Sting gave a huge concert here in the 2300 year old theater. By the 6th century A.D. the port of Ephesus became useless as the sea receded and the channel leading to the great city became full of silt. This is one of the greatest ancient sites of the world. It is hard to explain, but seeing such ruins will change your perspective on life and how we fit into world history. You have to see it to believe it. In 300 B.C. they had a city sewer system, plumbing, and advanced city planning.

Tomorrow we head back to Istanbul. We are ready to go home; it’s been a long ride. Exhaustion and fatigue are setting in. Steve’s shirts smell like a buzzard’s crotch. The timing for our visit was exceptional—as we rode through the ruins today, the EU met in Luxembourg to decide the next steps for Turkey's EU acceptance. Austria is very against having the 70 million inhabitants of Turkey having access to attain jobs throughout Europe. The real issue is not economic however, it really relates more to the fact that Turkey would be the only EU member that is non-Christian. There was some progress made today, but the road to Turkey’s EU membership will be a long and bumpy one.

10.4.05: Istanbul: N41 07.207 E29 02.814 We made it back alive. The odometer reads 3056 kilometers. Fabulous trip, but we are totally exhausted. I’ve never seen so much traffic in my life. Istanbul traffic makes Mexico City, Beijing, and New York seem like nothing. Andy’s RT had a small Chernobyl-like meltdown in the traffic of Istanbul. Luckily no radioactive material escaped, but I’ve never seen a boxer twin smoke like that before. It was like a German-Turkish barbeque in the middle of downtown Istanbul. We had to pull over and load up the bike into the van. The AFMC sure did increase the already unbearable Istanbul traffic. We made it all the way from Istanbul to Constantinople in just two weeks! We had a fabulous but late sendoff dinner.

GPS Waypoints:

Istanbul Borusan BMW N41 07.207 E29 02.814
Cinci Han (Karavansaray in Safranbolu) N41 14.682 E32 41.593
Ürgüp Elkep Evi N38 38.135 E34 54.244
Göreme Open Air Museum N38 38.429 E34 50.716
Obruk Han Karavansaray (Lagoon) N38 10.451 E33 10.989
Konya Balıkçılar Hotel N37 51.597 E32 30.452
Kemer Berke Ranch N36 33.914 E30 32.377
Phaselis N36 31.520 E30 33.101
Myra N36 15.438 E29 59.147
Kaş N36 11.932 E29 38.497
Göcek Swisshotel N36 45.181 E28 56.629
Bozburun Marina (Lunch) N36 46.182 E28 07.404
Bodrum The Marmara Hotel N37 02.504 E27 26.475
Euromos Temple N37 22.453 E27 40.485
Apollo Temple N37 23.152 E27 15.388
Ephesus N37 56.663 E27 20.476
Şirince Nişanyan Houses N37 56.448 E27 26.033
Köfteci Ramiz (Meatballs) N38 56.905 E27 50.154
Bandırma Fast Ferry N40 21.152 E27 58.016
Istanbul Borusan BMW N41 07.207 E29 02.814

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