Trips & Tales

Reorg at AFMC Imminent

September 19, 2005

Reorg at AFMC Imminent
By Geraldo Rivera

I spent this weekend in the small quiet town of Bridgewater, Vermont. I went ostensibly to research a story about the birth of a corporate uprising from these bucolic hills. On this hillside reside two of the eight Morgan Stanley ex-executives who launched an overthrow of the mighty Philip Purcell. Unbeknownst to me, just a short stretch up the road was one of the two headquarters of that secretive organization known as the American Flyers Motorcycle Club (or AFMC to industry insiders). I quickly dropped the Morgan Stanley story since it appeared to be mere child’s play compared to the goings on at AFMC.

The AFMC organization was founded in 1996 in the highly conservative state of Utah, home to many survivalist and polygamist organizations. It’s origins are vague, but there are rumored to be 5 patriarchs from around the world that gathered in Beaver, Utah one lonely night and decided to formalize a plan to buy up much of the federally-owned land in Southern Utah and flood it to create a giant inland sea and sell the then valuable seashore property for tremendous profit. These five are:

• Rich Marin , a New York banker, code name Tourmaster
• Frank O’Connell, a nomadic CEO of some marketing fame (Reebok “pump” and Silly Slammers), code name Chief
• Arthur Einstein, a New York ad man famous for “plop, plop, fizz, fizz”, code name Living Legend
• Andy Forrester, another New York banker and Navy SEAL, code name Lt. Commander.
• Larry Klane attributes and whereabouts unknown but connected loosely with CNBC.

This story begins with a pair of disgruntled ex-members of the AFMC, who were forced into retirement and reduced to “Limited Member” status by Mr. Marin, the organization’s Secretary/Treasurer according to official records, but reputed to be a powerful force in the organization. The couple did not wish to be identified for fear of reprisals. They did not believe that AFMC could find them in hiding in New Zealand, but nonetheless asked for protection, which I feel compelled to offer as discretely as I can to insure that their other homes in Hanover , NH and Maine are unharmed….not to mention their eight grandchildren in Boise, Los Angeles and Hanover. In any case, this couple was quick to spill their guts to this reporter of all the sordid events in the AFMC world.

To begin with, the scandals at Enron, Worldcom, Adelphia, Tyco and HealthSouth pale by comparison to the accounting scandal underway at AFMC. The issue involves the intricate accounting system being used to supplant GAAP. This system goes by the name “Marinomics” and is documented in numerous internal memos and spreadsheets. It is particularly relevant as it clearly ties the improprieties directly to Mr. Marin himself, a man whose entire livelihood is rumored to be derived from the rounding errors built into this accounting model. Mr. Marin was seen entering and exiting the Kirby home in Bridgewater with his recent accomplice and companion, Ms. Kimberly Grogg. When questioned about her affiliation with Mr. Marin, Ms. Grogg said, “He said it was all just for fun, I had no idea what he was doing on his computer. He told me not to say nothing to nobody.” Ms. Grogg is a blonde actress from Manhattan.

The owners of record of much of Bridgewater, Vermont turn out to be Mr. & Mrs. Robert Kirby (known as Augusta Bob) and Mr. & Mrs. Frank O’Connell (a.k.a. Chief and Indian Fire Maiden). Mr. Kirby is a long-time AFMC member and a known collaborator with powerful organized crime groups in the food industry both here and in India and China. Mr. O’Connell is a serial entrepreneur who spends most of his time on airplanes while Mrs. O’Connell is thought to have strong ties with and bear a striking resemblance to Martha Stewart. She is also known to affiliate with the likes of Sonny Barger’s daughter.

This reporter happened to be in Bridgewater just as a Midwest and West Coast contingent of the organization arrived. The Chicago gang was lead by Bob “Uncle Telly” Golant, looking very dapper with his wife Hedwig (clearly an alias) on his arm. His capos, JJ O’Doherty and Kevin Ward were along with Mary and Karen by their sides. They were seen entering the O’Connell house with boxes of meat.
From the West came Seattle Bob Meador and his moll, Willo. Santa Barbara Bob Sinclair arrived on a 1982 vintage BMW. New members Calgary Bob Pitts and Jacquelyne and riding buddy Mike “the Spike” Cavan arrived astride Harleys.
The organizer of this gathering was a relatively new member, Boston Rob St. Clair and his sidekick, Urch (another alias to be sure). He enlisted the support of local talent, Vermont Bob Novak and Pam as well as David “the Instigator” Beilman and Susan.

With this large a gathering there must certainly be something afoot. Reports from my insiders, who used to own a home in Barnard, just north of Bridgewater and never felt included, was that the old leadership of Marin, O’Connell, Einstein, Kirby and Walt “the Chairman” Lynd was coming to an untimely end. As evidence they point to Lynd’s absence from the proceedings and had heard rumors that he was forced to cut off his ceremonial pigtail, the traditional dynastic mark of honor for the reigning patriarch.

Reports from the Saturday evening cabal indicate that four new members have been “knighted”: Urch St.John, Willo Bellwood (Meador), Hedwig Golant, and Kevin Ward. New apprentice members attending were Mary O’Doherty, Karen Ward, Kim Grogg, Susan (Bielman), Pam (Novak), Calgary Bob Pitts, Jacquelyne Pitts, and Mike “the Spike” Cavan. Reactivated Limited members included Vermont Bob Novak and Santa Barbara Bob Sinclair. The evening involved slow-cooked ribs from Chicago and chocolate upside-down cake from Vermont.

The only Limited Members present that were not reinstated were Peter and Karen Brine, who this reporter believes were totally content with their status as Limited Members and had no animosity towards the leadership of AFMC for any slight or ignominious end that their illustrious careers as full members that they may have suffered under the mismanagement of the current leadership.

The cloverleaf tour taken by the group going on Friday to the East to Mt. Washington Hotel, where Mr. Marin was denied lunch by the group, headed West on Saturday where Mr. Kirby appeared confused and disoriented and under considerable stress from the situation, and headed North on Sunday to Stowe and Warren, being led by recently reactivated member, David “the Instigator” Bielman. While none of these maneuvers alluded the watchful eye of this reporter, they did give me the opportunity to meet with Jean Kirby on several occasions for lunch. It seems that after years of abuse at the hands of AFMC members, Mrs. Kirby stands ready to testify to whatever needs to be divulged to bring about a change in the management of the group. It is rumored that Barbara O’Connell is equally ready to turn state’s witness given her recent graduation and rumored pregnancy.
This reporter stands ready to follow up on this story as it unfolds further.

Questions to consider:

• Where is Brenda Butner?
• Is the Mormon Church involved?
• Will Dale Launer ever write/produce or direct again?
• Will Miss Jean ride again?
• Where is Jay Bliss?
• Is Boston Rob really a Bob?
• What do Calgary and The O.C. have in common?
• Is Arthur not such a bad guy once you get to know him?

The End

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